dear Evalyn,
hi baby! right now as I'm writing this, you aren't on earth. not even in my belly or anything. there is a saying that is something along the lines of "you want it so bad because its already in your future" so in hopes that the saying is correct, here I am making an entire blog just for you to hopefully read one day. I already love you so much. I've got a box of the cutest baby clothes for when you're born, some are toddler clothes but most are for a baby. they are seriously SO cute that I couldn't just leave them at the store. they're all thrifted and second hand so I like that its giving something old a new life. my mom, your grandma, doesn't always seem too happy that I spend my money on things like that but its my money and I don't see anything wrong with being prepared. maybe its because I'm still young, maybe not. it does bother me because she gets moody a lot and then her moodiness puts me in a bad mood as well. I hope I'm not like that with you. I'm in therapy and my therapist is nice and I feel as though she does help. me. I hope that by the time my life is graced with you that I'm healed enough to be the mom I wish to be for you. a big fear of mine is that for one reason or another, we will argue and I will be mean or say something hurtful that you won't forgive me for. I can't even imagine what it would be but I'm still scared that it could happen. if we ever argue or if I ever get mad at you, I hope you are able too realize and remember how much I love you and I hope that we will have good communication with each other. I'm going to try to write something to you everyday, I do forget sometimes so lets hope ill remember to update!
I love you, bye my love.